“I am not win, but I’ve done my best work”, that’s the reply of my message to my son who was attending the National Teenage Painting Competition. Hmm….he learns something about competition and that’s a success.

In our family, success is not always about winning and gets a trophy. I’m sure that every family has their own definition about success. Some people think that success is about reaching the best position in academic. Or the process in to the positive way is also a success. Basically, success should be seen according to the age.

Before we push our children to reach their “success”, we need to know their potency, because every child is unique. We should see their potency as clear as possible, because we often put our childhood obsession into our children without thinking whether they like it or not.

It is not a mistake if parents and children spend their time in a simple discussion. Including, give some influence to minimize their weakness and maximize their potency. So, they can think that their parents are still fair; although, they’re treated in a different way. Differentiation is not about comparison. In this occasion, children learn that their parents give support according to their need. Finally, children know that their parents always support them for reaching their success.

Sometimes, we were surprised by their decision. Sometimes, we push to hard. Sometimes, we want show our support, but it is disappointing them. Sometimes, parents are only seeing their children potency through their success in academic. On the other hand, their children want to increase their potency in art. Something that always makes us worries about their future. Let our children explore their potency in order to have million of live experiences for their future. We just have to guide them and pray to Allah for their decision.

The most crucial is when our children don’t know their potency, they don’t want to explore it and we guide them in our own way. It’s time to communicate with our children. Communication that guide them into their potency, with all the risks, so they can optimize it for human kind. And, this is the real  success. Wallahu’alam.

by Ledia Hanifa Amaliah

Ibu dari Widad Maulana (mhs FE UNPAD, alumni SMA Al Hikmah), ‘Azza Habibullah (kls XI, alumni SMP Al Hikmah) & Mi’raj Shabrin Jamil (kls IX SMP Al Hikmah). Istri dari Drs. Bachtiar Sunasto, MS.

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